I am so so so tired of stress. I swear my life line is getting shorter at twice the rate of normal people.
More crap with the hospital, more crap with selling my house and then my mother is driving me NUTS!
I get that she is under a lot of stress herself, but it is the way she deals with stress that kills me. See for some reason she finds it easiest to take all her frustrations out on me. She won't do it to anyone else. When I asked her why (Many times over the years) she says it is because she is "closest" to me, and "trusts" me most and "knows" I will forgive her.
It is like she is my best mate and sometimes my enemy in one. I am tired of being her sounding board. Yet because I love her so much I end up letting it slide because what other choice do I have?
Sometimes I wish she would turn to my brother for help. I have learnt my habits of stress and stress management (Or lack thereof) from her and now I feel churned up enough to want to throw up. (This happens anytime she gets stressed).
I have enough shit to deal with let alone her additional pile of shit which in actual fact she should be seeking comfort in my step dad (Not me!)
Apparently my step dad is too "precious" to hear it. He is such a great bloke, love him... but according to mother "Doesn't like conflict".
Do any of us "like" conflict?
I am about ready to snap tonight.
I think a hot cup of milo, a hot shower and an early night are well and truly on the cards.
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